Guest Post: Defining Doomers

by Kathy Harrison

As someone who writes and lectures about preparedness, I get to hear from a lot of folks about their personal level of preparedness comfort. Hearing from others always makes me evaluate exactly where I fall on what might be called the PPI or Personal Paranoia Index. I generally find myself firmly straddling the fence somewhere between, “Crisis? What crisis? I don’t see any crisis? Life is good. I just ordered my new hot tub.” and “Oh my Good!!! The flu is here. Head for the bunker. Be afraid. Be very afraid”.

What follows is the doom-o-meter evolution of a clueless suburban guy to full-blown survivalist. It’s up to you to decide where on the list he should have stopped.

Level 1-He shopped for food every day, at least on those days he didn’t eat take-out. His 1/10 of an acre, suburban tract home is heated with electricity. He drives an SUV and can’t really remember if he has ever changed the oil. It is so expensive to fill up that he only puts in gas when it’s sucking fumes. He has some skills. He knows a good Merlot and can give a synopsis of Lost, right up until the last episode. He is up to his eyeballs in credit card debt but feels that Guitar Hero and the big screen TV were worth every dime. He is also upside down on his mortgage but finds that a couple of shots of gin before bed helps him sleep anyway.

Then:

Level 2-After a bad storm that left his family without power for the better part of a week, he installed a wood stove in the family room. He also went looking for the food he had socked away just before Y2K. It’s down in the basement. He buys a manual can opener and some hand cranked flashlights. He makes an effort to get his spending under control, kind of important since he works for GM.

Then:

Level 3- These bailouts are a bit worrisome. He orders a copy of Just In Case: How To Be Self Sufficient When The Unexpected Happens. He cashes in some stocks and pays off his credit cards. He makes a trip to a big box store. He sells the pool table and puts in some storage shelves. His neighbors are looking at him funny.

Then:

Level 4- His neighborhood begins to look like foreclosure alley. Properties are being abandoned. The wood stove is working out really well. His heating bills have dropped dramatically. He uses the savings to invest in a chainsaw and a permit to harvest downed wood from state forest land. He cashes in some more stocks, buys a freezer, a generator and a grain grinder. He now owns several books on self sufficient living and thinks Carla Emory was a goddess. He is considering selling the house and moving back to his small home town. GM is flirting with bankruptcy and that pension is not looking like the cash cow he expected it to be.

Then:

Level 5-He watches CNBC and realizes they don’t always have the answers. Some of the commentators are looking-well- panicked. He sells the house for a song but fortunately has just enough to pay off the mortgage when he cashes in his life insurance and IRA. He packs up a trailer with the generator, the wood stove and the freezer. He leaves behind Guitar Hero and a big screen plasma TV. His neighbors look wistful as he drives away.

Then:

Level 6-The news goes from bad to worse. He moves back to the old family house. He gets a job driving school bus for ¼ of his former salary. Driving bus leaves him time to tend his new chickens, plant his garden, cut wood for the wood furnace and grind the grain he buys in bulk. The chickens die, the garden is lost to an early frost, he has a chimney fire and his wife is ready to leave him. The kids miss video games and think country kids are dorks.

Then:

Level 7-The economic news gets worse. He gets a gun. He buys more chickens, replants the garden, has the chimney cleaned and develops a good looking set of biceps. His wife thinks that’s kind of hot. His kids join 4-H and get a lamb.

Then:

Level 8-He discovers survivalblog. He thinks Rawles is a god. He sells the house to some escaping city slickers and buys an off-grid home 12 miles from town. He buys lots of guns. He buys some camouflage clothing and grows a beard. He insists on homeschooling. His wife is ready to leave him.

Then:

Level 9-He develops an odd eye tic. He doesn’t tell his extended family where he lives. He spends many hours practicing with his guns. His kids drop out of 4-H. They don’t have time for it, what with hunting, fishing and rifle practice. He thinks Rawels is a cock-eyed optimist.

Then:

Level 10-TEOTWAWKI doesn’t happen this week. His wife leaves him. His kids decide to leave the bunker to go to business school. He dies from eating tainted squirrel.

Clearly, there is a happy medium someplace; one that recognizes the need to prepare but also the need to have a life. I believe in preparedness. I do not see a happy outcome for this economy but I do see a happy outcome for myself and my family. Our preparedness relies primarily on self-sufficiency and community. I have a gun permit but I spend my money on seeds, fruit trees and non-electric tools. I can gut a chicken but I like a nice glass of wine with my dinner. I don’t keep my preparations secret. I am not sure I could eat, knowing my friends and relatives were hungry.

Kathy Harrison has written numerous books on family preparedness and has appeared on Oprah, The Today Show and NPR. Her most recent book Just in Case is available in book stores now. Click here to read our review of Just in Case earlier this month.